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Uteri, by Apple

The Wooer: “Put that shit on ‘pause.’ Who needs fresh eggs when you don’t wanna use ‘em?”

Me: “Did you know that girls have more eggs than they could possibly ever use anyways? I don’t know who designed this clusterfuck of a product, but when Apple starts making uteri, I’m totally jumping ships.”

The Wooer: “Make sure to jailbreak it, or you won’t be allowed to install whatever you want into your purchased uterus!”

Me: “Jailbait it? Can Apple TURN BACK TIME now?!”

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