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The Wooer Reel [abridged]

The Wooer: “You have a LOT of underwear.”

Me: “Well, I’m a GIRL.”

The Wooer: “I know.

I checked.”

————————————————————

Me: “FINE I’ll make my own eggs… and try not to cry into them.”

The Wooer: “IF YOU DO DON’T SALT THEM.”

————————————————————

The Wooer: “And I left my tennis shoes at your place.

NOW HOW WILL I PLAY TENNIS.”

————————————————————

The Wooer: [witty remark]

Me: “Touché.”

Him: “I’ll tell you what. I’d like to be touchéing you right now.”

————————————————————

Scanning the aisle signs at CVS:

The Wooer: “No. No. OH.

‘BABY CARE!’



Well.

That’s, like, the OPPOSITE of what we need.”

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