19th
Stop! Missed Connections.
Missed Connections are the young urban professional’s obituary column. At least, I read them—I read other people’s life narratives, that is—with the same grotesque, distanced curiosity with which I read synopses of individual strangers’ newly finite existences.
(But, we all know that works written from a first person perspective, in the present tense, with a touch of the absurd, are most engaging—so I strongly prefer Missed Connections. Especially when hopeful, unrequited lurkers create public dialogues, responding to vague, if inspired, professions of long-lasting love and devotion by inquiring back, “Is your name Jimmy?”).
Distanced curiosity being acknowledged, it would be a little unnatural not to wonder which of the Missed Connections taking place in your familiar haunts could possibly apply to you. After all, you’re fabulous.
So, having eliminated any Missed Connections addressed to notably thin girls, Asians, people jogging/biking/outdoor exercising, cougars/MILFS/married women, and any Missed Connections taking place in wholesale clubs/megastores, the suburbs, or fast food establishments… I find that I am not fabulous, after all.
But I read on, anon.
